Coming together1/12/2023 ![]() Another example of intensifying in our relationship was the several instances that Zoey said, “My hands are cold.” Now any normal person knows that this is code for “hold my hand ” however, I am unfortunately too stupid with women to pick up on this “obvious” hint. She reluctantly agreed to that on day one. This can be evidenced by several different occurrences: partners revealing more vulnerable parts of their pasts, “pet” names, open indications of commitment (“Facebook official” or verbally expressing feelings of affection), and crossing physical barriers.Īfter several months of hanging out in friend groups and one-on-one dates, we decided to “become official.” I had decided that I did not want to put it on Facebook, for I would rather keep this sort of thing private in case our relationship soured. This stage involves a deepening of the relationship. I tried engaging her in some "small talk" over dinner however, she only gave me short answers to my questions (come to find out, she was extremely nervous). The girls worked out their seating situation so that Zoey just “happened” to sit by me (she would say that she was way more into me at this point). In that same month, the same group of friends decided to get together again at Applebee’s. A few days later, she added me as a friend on Facebook (yeah, I’m that guy). We did not engage in small talk (I was focused on impressing her with my board gaming skills), but we exchanged some basic information. ![]() This stage was lightly sprinkled with the initiating stage the night I met Zoey. We got dead last.ĭuring this stage, people begin exchanging basic information about themselves as well as engaging in non-threatening “small talk.” ![]() How come I haven’t seen them before?” Zoey sat down right next to me, and we ended up being partners for a stupid team game (Balderdash). I remember thinking, “Dang, there are actually some cute girls that go to school here. ![]() Because my guy friends and I arrived at the Student Center first, I remember first seeing the group of girls (my wife included) walking up to our table. I met my wife at a game night set up by mutual friends. This relationship has followed Knapp’s model (the coming together half) almost perfectly, and I will walk our relationship through that model in the rest of this post.Īt this stage, someone basically analyzes another person based on superficial qualities (attractiveness, posture, clothing, cleanliness, etc) in order to figure out whether or not he or she would ever want to pursue a relationship with the other person. My relationship with my wife, Zoey, is fairly new (at this level), and it is the most important relationship that I will ever have with another person. Communication scholar Mark Knapp advocates for a relationship development model that includes five stages of coming together and five stages of coming apart (McCornack, 2013, p. ![]()
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